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Warlock III 02-13-2012 08:13 PM

In memory of 2011 assault 800
Now that Assault is gone off to a far, far better place. (For 11 days, thanks for the warning)

I feel that we should all share a story of him to honor his memory, or just say something, even if it's only a couple words. Here's what I have to say:

My fondest memory is of the first time I met him. It was a warm summers day and the runners on his skis were sending off showers of sparks in the supermarket parking lot.

As I was approaching my truck, I was going over my receipt with my arms full of bags of groceries. I was in a hurry and not paying much attention to what I was doing, or where I was going.

Quick as a flash though, Assault noticed what was happening. Unknown to me an elderly woman of perhaps 85 was approaching me at a blinding speed of about 8 mph.

Fast on his feet, he knew exactly what to do. Without regard for himself he sprinted into action, with only a thought of helping a wayward stranger. He had taken a long drink of his beverage and was unable to yell out the alarm to me, but that didn't slow him down. His mind was made up.

As he approached me, arms flailing, and knowing the moment of impact was near, he bounded towards the shopping cart corral, took command of the nearest one, pushing it ahead of him. As he neared me he mustered every ounce of strength he could. Raising the shopping cart above his head and having it come crashing down into the old woman's windshield. Stopping her in her tracks.

I don't believe I have ever witnessed such a random act of kindness neither before, nor since. If not my life, I owe the healing of a particularly nasty bruise to his courage.

Thank you Assault.

brad12kx 02-13-2012 11:14 PM

I've never met him personally, but my experience was in a word 'Incredible'.

It was beautiful winter evening in the Spanish River Park, and I was tired from a long day of snow shoeing through the woods so decided to take up camp in a clearing that was decoratively lined with geometrically placed foliage. The view rivaled that of an exotic adventure article in Nation Geographic.

Unaware of the stigma attached to this place of splendor, I gazed admiringly across the concave clearing that glistened under the cloudless sky, shamelessly showing off the bountiful collage of brightly lit stars. Had I done my research prior to trekking aimlessly through new territory, I might have educated myself on why this place of obvious splendor remained completely untouched by man, animal or machine. There was not a single track in the snow to disrupt the reflections from the heavens.

After carefully placing my vintage WW1 Air Force issued eider down sleeping bag into a hollow in the snow, I proceeded to gather a few twigs for a morning fire. When I returned to my carefully selected camp site, I noted the glistening colors in the clearing were brighter and more colorful than I ever would have thought possible under even the clearest of skies. I stared in complete amazement as the ever increasing luminance approached the brightness of a fully lit cloudless day, but with a dazzle of color that made even the best night club look sepia at best.

As I turned to look skyward a light breeze of warm air past my face like that of an opening oven door. Now I realize why the clearing is so well lit as I ponder at the source of the light and heat.

A little research would have provided me the background on this area; and I encourage anyone that is planning to partake in such an adventure to spend a little time getting to 'know' the area of interest. I was lucky, but as my later research uncovered, many before me were not.

Hovering over my head was a massive object, virtually silent in sound, but when it came to the light show, the volume was at 14! Frozen in awe (more likely fear), all I could do was stand there and stare at what I knew was not real, but it was right there above me!

Next thing I know, there is a thunderous scream of small, finely tuned high performance engines. I hear them slow to an idle, but one. I a furry of unprecedented maneuverability, I watch this single tracked wonder blase across the clearing and proceed to create a patterned design in the snow. As this was happening, a port opened on the hovering object and a beam of light exited in the direction of this man/machine artist, narrowly missing him on numerous attempts. In a few short seconds that felt like many long minutes, the machine and it's operator disappeared into the woods with the hovering object in hot pursuit.

The other riders that had stayed back in the safety of the woods then approached me to see if I was OK, and encouraged me to relocate my camp; an opportunity I showed no resistance to. They explained that the clearing was a known UFO abduction site. They further explained that they saw the object and had come here to see if would land. When they arrived and saw me there, the one rider stated that he had to do something to try to help.

I pointed at the clearing and the intricately carved design left by the now fleeing for his life rider and asked "What was that". The others replied in unison "2011 Assault 800"!

Thank You Assault! You the Man! :smileup:

Razorbass 02-13-2012 11:27 PM

^^^How am I supposed to top that?

Warlock III 02-14-2012 09:32 PM

So then later that week I ran into 2011 Assault 800 outside the local watering hole.

Being filled with gratitude as I was I thought it only fitting that I offer to but him a drink. He told me he'd be inside in a few minutes as he had to lock and secure his vehicle. I entered without him. I entered the establishment and paused to let my eyes adjust to the dark surroundings. Once I was able to see well enough I located a spot and proceeded to sit there. The waitress came along and asked me what I'd like to drink and thinking I had a long drive ahead of me I ordered a Coke with ice and continued to wait. There was a lot of chatter with the conversations going on around me and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

I struck up a conversation with a local and he seemed to be a rather friendly fellow. I checked the time and noticed it was getting late and realized that I wouldn't be able to stay much longer.

Suddenly the room was flooded with light as the door opened and Assault finally entered. Oddly enough, the jovial mood dissipated as he entered he room. The silence turned into muttering and disgruntled looks. The kindly gentleman I had been speaking to quickly stood up and moved away as 2011 Assault 800 neared me. Not without giving me a parting glance that could only be described as anger.

Assault sat at the table with me, and I explained that I couldn't stay any longer and had to leave, but the least I could do is to buy him a drink.

I motioned for the waitress to come over and after a pursed lipped look she approached the table. As I handed her the money for my drink and more than enough to cover any drink he may order, and a tip. I nodded to Assault and turned to leave.

As I walked away I faintly heard the waitress remark to him...will it be the usual...vinegar and water?

BlueJet 02-14-2012 09:36 PM


Macfhionghuin 02-14-2012 10:42 PM

I heard the news that 2011 Assault 800 had gone off to a better place,since I had never met him I decided to be transported to Mexico to see if I might be able to meet up with him,maybe have a couple of cerveza.When I arrived arriving in Mexico i heard of a crazy Canadian with his snow machine.
I asked his exact location and quickly headed there.My time was limited,as I had to return to Canada as i was getting to warm.I wasn't able to meet 2011 Assault 8oo,but fortunately I was able to shoot some video before I left.... :smileup::smileup::smileup::smileup::smileup::smil eup:....Rob

Warlock III 02-16-2012 08:24 PM

brad12kx 02-17-2012 11:24 PM

Apparently someone took a pic of the design carved in the clearing!

Warlock III 02-17-2012 11:39 PM

2011 ASSAULT 800 02-25-2012 12:35 AM

hahahhahahahaha thanks fellas! im alive! back in the cold, and didnt go to jail! I deffinetly wasnt expecting to see this! haha i almost did 11 days away from here, I came on the site the first day I was there but didnt log in, wasnt on for long because Amanda was close by! but she doesnt know, so I get dinner :D I have alot of catching up to do! Ill post some pics tmrw

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