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hemiv8dodgeram1500 01-30-2010 07:07 PM

28-ounce water pump
A woman calls an imports warehouse for a 28 ounce water pump

''a what''? says the confused parts guy

''my husband says he needs a 28 ounce water pump'' replies the woman

''a 28 ounce water pump, what car does it fit?''

''A Datsun"

so the parts guy writes down a Datsun 28 oz water pump and the light in his head goes on, and he says "oh yes ma'am we have 28 ounce water pumps, we also have 26 ounce and 24 ounce ones two"

"finally" she says happily "your the first place to know what i was talking about"

"well ma'am were a full import parts and service center, its our job to have what you need, like a 28 ounce water pump" he says smiling as he writes down Datsun 280Z water pump.

hemiv8dodgeram1500 01-30-2010 07:25 PM

A Case For The DEA

The phone rings at DEA headquarters. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this DEA?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the DEA comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the DEA come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yeah they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

hemiv8dodgeram1500 01-30-2010 07:31 PM

A motorist runs a red light and is photographed by an automated police camera. In the mail a short time later, he receives a photo of his car committing the infraction and a citation for $60. Instead of paying the fine, the motorist mails the police department a photograph of three 20-dollar bills. Several days later, he gets a letter back from the police department. Inside is a photograph of a pair of handcuffs.

hemiv8dodgeram1500 01-30-2010 07:36 PM

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away.About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving all over the road, ask him to get out of the car and take the breathalyser test. Just as he is about to blow into the bag, the police radio informs the policemen of a robbery taking place in a house a short distance away.

The police tell the partygoer to remain where he is, they will be right back; and they run down the street to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has 'flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with 'flu and has been there all day. However, the police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car, and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find the police car, lights still flashing.

BlueJet 01-30-2010 07:38 PM

LOL!! Good ones!!! :D

CdnoilRAM 01-30-2010 09:13 PM

great ones hemi.

hemiv8dodgeram1500 01-30-2010 11:51 PM

thanks i was board and found them online the one with the man at the party is supposedly true i don't believe it though.

CajunDodge 01-31-2010 01:38 AM

Those are pretty good hemiv8, love the water pump :hah:

- Cajun :pepper:

CdnoilRAM 01-31-2010 01:54 AM

Kind of reminds me of a customer that came in looking for ... 710 ...

RamTech 01-31-2010 07:57 AM

Ah, the 710 cap....

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