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RootBeer 07-07-2010 07:01 PM

Hell Explained


The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


iRESQu 07-07-2010 07:04 PM

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Now that was funny as hell!!!

City Slicker 07-07-2010 07:07 PM

I'd like to hear more of that student's work!

iRESQu 07-07-2010 07:09 PM

LOL @ Nick!

CajunDodge 07-07-2010 07:15 PM

LOLOLOLOL, that is freakin' funny!!! I agree with Nick, would like to hear this student's take on other theories in life! :smileup:

- Cajun

hemiv8dodgeram1500 07-07-2010 07:27 PM

hahahahaha :LOL:

drivehard27 07-07-2010 08:53 PM

thats a good one and i live in az and it is hot as hell here right now 105 lol

CdnoilRAM 07-07-2010 09:03 PM

Hehehe, yup, I heard that one back in university, but it's still a good one.

CajunDodge 07-07-2010 09:49 PM

Guess the only thing I can add.....the Saints won the Super Bowl, so hell has officially frozen over!!!!! :smileup:

- Cajun

iRESQu 07-08-2010 12:07 AM


Originally Posted by CajunDodge (Post 255693)
Guess the only thing I can add.....the Saints won the Super Bowl, so hell has officially frozen over!!!!! :smileup:

- Cajun

I had a "hell" of a bet going on that game....certainly glad I went with the Saints!

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