If i was gone....
Here is another joke I will recite from memory...enjoy
Night after night her hubby would go to the bar and gamble, not returning to the wee hours of the morning. One morning the wife said to her hubby: I stay up night after night worrying about you when you dont come home till the wee hours of the morning because i dont know where you are at or if you are ok because you never call....How would you like it if I left and didnt come home or call till the wee hours or days on end? Her hubby shrugged his shoulders and said: Fine with me !
Well, he didnt see his wife that night or the next night and on the 3rd day he could barely see her asthe swelling in his eyes just started to go down.
Guy sitting at the bar drinking and getting wasted when the guy next to him turns and throws up on him. Oh man, My wife is gonna be so PO'd at me because I always get drunk and throw up on myself and I was hoping not to do that tonight to show her I am a better man. The guy appologize to the man and says: here is $20 ( putting it in his shirt pocket ) tell your wife what happened and Im sorry and there is $20 to get the shirt cleaned. So, later that night the guy stumbles home and his wife is waiting up.... SEE, I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE GONNA COME AFTER YOU THREW UP ALL OVER YOURSELF ! said the wife. No, no, let me explain dear, this guy threw up on me and he gave me $20 to have it cleaned, look in my shirt pocket. The wife says: There is $40 in here? The hubby said... Oh, yeah...he sh*t in my pants too.
Lol, funny, but wrong
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