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Old 12-23-2009, 09:55 PM
MADDOG MADDOG is offline
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I am also former USAF.

We were in basic training over Christmas. On Christmas Eve, our freakin' sadistic TI called a surprise inspection. He was newly back from his second tour of Vietnam and was kinda whacked.

One guy had a small untucked corner piece on his bunk...the TI called him a pig and had him crawing through the bays on all fours, oinking as he went.

Then another guy had a problem with his inspection and he joined the pig herd. Soon, there were 4 other guys in the herd, crawling through the bays, oinking as they went by in parade...

The next guy that got a gig was called a "Pig Farmer" and he was told to follow the pig herd, calling to the pigs "SOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" You'd hear "oink oink oink oink oink SOOOOOOEEEEEEE!!! all around the bays.

The next gig was for a dirty shaving creme nozzle. The TI had the guy squirt a large amount of creme into his hands, place it all over his face and he became "Santa Claus". He told this guy to follow the Pig Farmer and sing Jingle Bells.

Soon, Santa had 8 reindeer who were told to say "tingaling, tingaling" to accompany Santa's singing.

After this large entourage had made about 5 circuits of the double bays, "oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink; SOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE; Jingle Bells Jingle Bells; tingaling tingaling tingaling tingaling tingaling tingaling tingaling tingaling"; the TI crawled into a door locker and was laughing so hard the locker was shaking.

He stuck his head out, looked at the rest of us and said, "Don't Any One Of You ****ers Start Laughing!!!" and he crawled out the bay, not to be seen the rest of the night.

"HO HO ****ING HO, Merry Christmas!!!" was his parting shot...
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