Excuse the rant that follows below and, moderators, feel free to move this post to the appropriate forum if it doesn't belong here.
For years (YEARS I TELL YOU), I've habitually parked all of my vehicles in no-man's land in any parking lot I have the misfortune to have to park in. I do this to:
A) Prevent door dings from idiots who don't care about any other vehicle in the lot except their own ragged-out ride.
B) Not end up being violated in any one of my many orifices in prison as a result of killing the idiot as referenced in point A.
What pisses me off to no end is that I'll come out of the store or wherever I am to find that some jacknut with a grimy minivan has decided that, in the ENTIRE MULTI-ACRE EXPANSE OF THE PARKING LOT, PARKING DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME WITH JUST 3 INCHES TO SPARE BETWEEN VEHICLES IS THE ONLY OPTION. ACRES OF FREE SPOTS ALL AROUND BUT THEY PARK DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME, CLOSE ENOUGH TO WHERE I HAVE TO WEDGE ALREADY THIN FRAME SIDEWAYS IN ORDER TO GAIN ENTRY TO MY TRUCK.
So, the question I pose to the board is:
WHY DO NON-CAR PEOPLE "HERD" THEMSELVES NEAR VEHICLES WHERE THERE ARE TONS OF REMAINING FREE SPOTS?
PLEASE TELL ME WHY.
Week TWO of having my new truck (this was back in July of this year), I found a door ding (I mean, it's barely perceptible to most people but I see it). Happened in my work parking lot - decided to park close to the door as I was only running in for a second. Came out, and there was this clapped-out minivan (IT'S ALWAYS A MINIVAN) parked so close to my truck it was like it was trying to hump up on me. Didn't see the ding till I was home. NOW I SEE IT EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOOK AT THE TRUCK, NATCH.
WHAT IS UP WITH THE CLOSE PARKERS IN THIS WORLD, AND WHY DO THEY WALK THE EARTH WITH COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S VEHICLES? IS IT RETARDATION? IS IT IGNORANCE?
I would never in my wildest dreams just come careening into a parking lot and park directly on top of somebody else - I'm always mindful of this, on those rare occasions when I actually have to park next to another vehicle.
So what has caused this rant? BECAUSE IT'S 12:56PM ON THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11TH AND I'M PARKED 545 MILES AWAY FROM MY OFFICE WITH THOUSANDS OF FREE SPACES ALL AROUND ME AND, LO AND BEHOLD, I NOW HAVE A VOLVO STATION WAGON THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO DISINTEGRATE INTO A RUST PILE PARKED ABOUT THREE AND A HALF CENTIMETERS FROM MY TRUCK. WELL, GUESS I'LL GO OUT NOW AND TAKE A LOOK AT WHATEVER ADDITIONAL DAMAGE HAS SURELY OCCURRED.