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Old 09-25-2008, 04:46 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default Heard a good joke?

If you have a PG-13 rated joke, post it here!! Just remember people of all ages, race and religion are here so lets not get too nasty, ok?

Here is one I stole from DaveDees:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN..'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has ' SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people while making it more comfortable for the rest of us.
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