Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again,
asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing? I asked.
Talking about my "doing-something-useful"
seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down
to the Senior Center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts?
You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled,
"Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?!
This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again, I said,
I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone
and said that my daughter had fainted.