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Old 11-11-2010, 12:56 PM
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Default A rant about "close parkers".

Excuse the rant that follows below and, moderators, feel free to move this post to the appropriate forum if it doesn't belong here.

For years (YEARS I TELL YOU), I've habitually parked all of my vehicles in no-man's land in any parking lot I have the misfortune to have to park in. I do this to:

A) Prevent door dings from idiots who don't care about any other vehicle in the lot except their own ragged-out ride.
B) Not end up being violated in any one of my many orifices in prison as a result of killing the idiot as referenced in point A.

What pisses me off to no end is that I'll come out of the store or wherever I am to find that some jacknut with a grimy minivan has decided that, in the ENTIRE MULTI-ACRE EXPANSE OF THE PARKING LOT, PARKING DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME WITH JUST 3 INCHES TO SPARE BETWEEN VEHICLES IS THE ONLY OPTION. ACRES OF FREE SPOTS ALL AROUND BUT THEY PARK DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME, CLOSE ENOUGH TO WHERE I HAVE TO WEDGE ALREADY THIN FRAME SIDEWAYS IN ORDER TO GAIN ENTRY TO MY TRUCK.

So, the question I pose to the board is:

WHY DO NON-CAR PEOPLE "HERD" THEMSELVES NEAR VEHICLES WHERE THERE ARE TONS OF REMAINING FREE SPOTS? PLEASE TELL ME WHY.

Week TWO of having my new truck (this was back in July of this year), I found a door ding (I mean, it's barely perceptible to most people but I see it). Happened in my work parking lot - decided to park close to the door as I was only running in for a second. Came out, and there was this clapped-out minivan (IT'S ALWAYS A MINIVAN) parked so close to my truck it was like it was trying to hump up on me. Didn't see the ding till I was home. NOW I SEE IT EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOOK AT THE TRUCK, NATCH.

WHAT IS UP WITH THE CLOSE PARKERS IN THIS WORLD, AND WHY DO THEY WALK THE EARTH WITH COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S VEHICLES? IS IT RETARDATION? IS IT IGNORANCE?

I would never in my wildest dreams just come careening into a parking lot and park directly on top of somebody else - I'm always mindful of this, on those rare occasions when I actually have to park next to another vehicle.

So what has caused this rant? BECAUSE IT'S 12:56PM ON THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11TH AND I'M PARKED 545 MILES AWAY FROM MY OFFICE WITH THOUSANDS OF FREE SPACES ALL AROUND ME AND, LO AND BEHOLD, I NOW HAVE A VOLVO STATION WAGON THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO DISINTEGRATE INTO A RUST PILE PARKED ABOUT THREE AND A HALF CENTIMETERS FROM MY TRUCK. WELL, GUESS I'LL GO OUT NOW AND TAKE A LOOK AT WHATEVER ADDITIONAL DAMAGE HAS SURELY OCCURRED.

HATE EVERYBODY.
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  #2  
Old 11-11-2010, 01:08 PM
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I'll see your rant and raise you one.

I hate people that even when they park reasonably throw their door open to its maximum width without even caring or checking that it doesn't hit the car next to them.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:21 PM
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After decades of asking the same question, I finally have the answer!

If you have a nice shiny vehicle, it magnetically attracts un-clean, rusty, barely running POS vehicles, especially of the mini-van variety. I have also discovered the cure to this problem....

Buy a POS minivan....never wash it.....and no one....and I mean NO ONE, will park close to you! Especially effective if a couple of windows are replaced with plastic and duct tape....broken tail light repaired with red plastic and duct tape.....full of 'stuff'....and have wiring and door seal gaskets hanging out all over the place.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:30 PM
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I say hook a chain or strap to the offending vehicle and move it elsewhere and then return to your original spot.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:30 PM
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This is why I have a vehicle I don't care as much about. My wife's Durango, though we take care of it, I don't get upset about minor damage like scratches and door dings. Thankfully, I have a work provided Dodge Avenger that gets all the every day nicks and scratches while my trucks are sitting inside.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RootBeer View Post
I'll see your rant and raise you one.

I hate people that even when they park reasonably throw their door open to its maximum width without even caring or checking that it doesn't hit the car next to them.
YES!!! WHY?!?!?!?! TELL ME WHY!?!?!?!

Perhaps there is another catalyst for my rant today. Quite literally, the "dumbest" guy in our firm got a pay increase this week (company has frozen raises for everybody for over two years). He actually adds negative value to our company by being a hindrance and an obstacle, yet he's the only one to receive an increase this year. Nobody can figure out why.

There, I just jacked my own thread.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamTech View Post
I say hook a chain or strap to the offending vehicle and move it elsewhere and then return to your original spot.

Oh trust me, truck was moved PROMPTLY. I don't have tow hooks but might install them now after reading your suggestion.

People in my building must think I'm nuts because I now parked it even FARTHER AWAY. It's actually quite ridiculously far away now.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:15 PM
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You could always jump up and down on the hood of the offending vehicle..secretly of course!
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbovsix View Post
Oh trust me, truck was moved PROMPTLY. I don't have tow hooks but might install them now after reading your suggestion.

People in my building must think I'm nuts because I now parked it even FARTHER AWAY. It's actually quite ridiculously far away now.
All you need is a hitch!
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:18 PM
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My first dent was in a parking lot, i backed into a corner of a building, then i bought a backup camera
2nd dent or more like a scratch was done on a street near the courthouse, someone had dragged something up & over my front plastic bumper, or it could have been a peddle on a bicycle, the curb was quite high
3rd dent was another parking lot at a grocery story, i had parked at the far edge of the lot with a wall in front of the truck & one of those planters on the drivers side, the lot was pretty empty, i came out & the lot was still fairly empty, still several places around my Ram, except the parking slot on the passenger side had a 4 door POS sitting in it & i had a good sized dent in my passenger front door. The car was tore up floor up, flaking paint & dents, clothes, toys, candy wrappers, etc
4th was a deep scratch above the gas cap access door, it happened also in a parking lot, at a motel, i had parked up by managers office, nice bright light on a tall lamp pole, my room was #22, 11 rooms away from where my truck was & upstairs, i had a damn good view of it, i was sitting at the table in the room, heard a alarm go off, sounded familiar & pulled the curtain & there was a family loading or unloading their yellow vehicle, someone had bumped it hard enough to set off the alarm, (which is not to easy to do), i walked out & the car was gone, i didn't see any damage. the next morning i was gassing up & there was that scratch staring back at me, the kids must have liked the sound of the alarm, because they had used their hands over that side like they were trying to set it off again
Now all 4 sides are marked up
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