DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum

Go Back   DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum > Dodge Ram Forum - Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion > Jokes/Humor


Notices


Latest Vendor News
AutoAnything
Addictive Desert Designs!
United Radio
Bayou Goat Mounts

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 09-25-2008, 03:46 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,430
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default Heard a good joke?

If you have a PG-13 rated joke, post it here!! Just remember people of all ages, race and religion are here so lets not get too nasty, ok?

Here is one I stole from DaveDees:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN..'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has ' SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people while making it more comfortable for the rest of us.
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #2  
Old 09-25-2008, 03:49 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,430
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default The Third Husband

The third husband

A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

'Of course, madam,' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly what type and color are you looking for?'

The bride to be said: 'A long frilly white dress with a veil.'

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, 'Please don't take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?'

'Well, replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, 'I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or
not; despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.'

'What about your third husband?' asked the sales clerk.

'That one was a Democrat,' said the woman, 'and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.'
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-25-2008, 04:12 PM
300 Addict's Avatar
300 Addict 300 Addict is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Barrie, Ontario Canada
Age: 38
Posts: 5,907
Gender: Male
Vehicle: Chrysler 300
Trim Level: Touring
Color: Satin Jade Metallic
Rep Power: 9
Rep:317
300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough
Default

LOL! I've read the first one before and it remains funny!
Never saw the second one. That was great!
Thanks for sharing Stacy!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-25-2008, 04:13 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,430
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Well yeah you have seen the first one cuz I stole it from Dave!!
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-25-2008, 04:16 PM
300 Addict's Avatar
300 Addict 300 Addict is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Barrie, Ontario Canada
Age: 38
Posts: 5,907
Gender: Male
Vehicle: Chrysler 300
Trim Level: Touring
Color: Satin Jade Metallic
Rep Power: 9
Rep:317
300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJet View Post
Well yeah you have seen the first one cuz I stole it from Dave!!
LOL! I know!
Great idea on the joke thread! Great addition to the forumz!

Is it me, or are you surpassing me in posts
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-25-2008, 04:40 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,430
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 300 Addict View Post
LOL! I know!
Great idea on the joke thread! Great addition to the forumz!

Is it me, or are you surpassing me in posts
I learned from the master himself!!!
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-25-2008, 05:47 PM
DaveDees's Avatar
DaveDees DaveDees is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chesapeake, VA
Age: 62
Posts: 541
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2010 Jeep Patriot
Trim Level: Latitude
Color: Brilliant Black
Engine: 2003-2008 345ci (5.7L) Hemi V8 345hp 375lb/ft
Rep Power: 0
Rep:40
DaveDees is on a distinguished road
Default

Stacy, it wasn't mine to begin with, I stole it from another site. LOL Feel free to use it anytime.
__________________


All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-25-2008, 05:51 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,430
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveDees View Post
Stacy, it wasn't mine to begin with, I stole it from another site. LOL Feel free to use it anytime.
That's the great thing about the Forumz family, we can recycle!!! LOL
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-25-2008, 07:52 PM
07HEMI's Avatar
07HEMI 07HEMI is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 1,402
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2007 1500 4x4
Trim Level: SLT Big Horn
Color: Brilliant Black Pearl
Engine: 2003-2008 345ci (5.7L) Hemi V8 345hp 375lb/ft
Rep Power: 0
Rep:23
07HEMI is on a distinguished road
Default

LOL funny stuff
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-25-2008, 09:29 PM
300 Addict's Avatar
300 Addict 300 Addict is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Barrie, Ontario Canada
Age: 38
Posts: 5,907
Gender: Male
Vehicle: Chrysler 300
Trim Level: Touring
Color: Satin Jade Metallic
Rep Power: 9
Rep:317
300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough300 Addict is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJet View Post
I learned from the master himself!!!
Hey, you guys and gals make it impossible not to post! What an amazing bunch here at the Z! (Sorry for the thread jack)

Back to the Jokes! Keep 'em comin!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Advertisement






All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:33 PM.


= Copyright RamForumZ.com a Gigathreads.com Network Site =Ad Management by RedTyger
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vB.Sponsors


=Gigathreads Network=
CLUBS MOPAR NATION DSM GPMM MAMM JAM
DIESEL Diesel Forum      
CHEVY Chevy Camaro Forum Chevy Volt Forum    
CHRYSLER Chrysler 300C Forum      
DODGE Dodge Avenger Forum Dodge Caliber Forum Dodge Challenger Forum Dodge Charger Forum
  Dodge Circuit Forum Dodge Hornet Forum Dodge Magnum Forum Dodge Nitro Forum
  Dodge Ram Forum Dodge Dakota Forum Dodge Durango Forum Dodge Dart Forum
FORD Ford Raptor Forum Ford F150 Forum Ford F100 Forum  
JEEP Jeep Forum      
PONTIAC Pontiac G8 Forum      
SRT SRT Viper Forum SRT Cuda Forum