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  #11  
Old 09-26-2008, 04:52 AM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 300 Addict View Post
Hey, you guys and gals make it impossible not to post! What an amazing bunch here at the Z! (Sorry for the thread jack)
This is very true, we seem to attract the best people out there!!!
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  #12  
Old 09-26-2008, 04:55 AM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default A fish story

For all of the fishermen out there..............

Dear Dr. Phil,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite
pastime -- bass fishing.
I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but
she just never liked fishing.
Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the
shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do.
We quickly became fishing buddies.
As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing.
She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever.
Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few
minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother!
So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested.
Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore!
And she wants me to sell the boat!
I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.
What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

Thanks.
PS Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught.


Dr. Phil replies:

Dear Jack,
Get rid of that narrow-minded wife.
That's a nice pair of bass!!
Sincerely, Dr.Phil


(Ok Dave, do the picture thingy now!! )
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  #13  
Old 09-26-2008, 05:14 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default

Alabama State Trooper pulls over a "good ol' boy" for speeding. Trooper gets out of his cruiser, puts on his hat, and saunters up to the driver's window of the car he's pulled over.

Driver rolls down the window.

Trooper asks, in a thick Alabama accent ..... "Son, got any ID?"

Driver asks, "'Bout what?"
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  #14  
Old 09-26-2008, 05:16 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default

WARNING ... If you get an email with " Nude photos of Sarah Palin " ....In the subject line DO NOT OPEN IT ! !
It may contain a virus ..

If you get an email with " Nude photos of Hillary Clinton " in the subject line... DO NOT OPEN IT !.!. It may contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton ..
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  #15  
Old 10-24-2008, 08:36 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his
wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe
it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His Wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't
let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the Husband took a pair of underwear out of his
drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust'
cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April,' he hollered into the
bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder, it's
'Miracle Grow!'
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  #16  
Old 10-25-2008, 11:28 AM
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LYC79 LYC79 is offline
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That's a nice and funny joke about italian people and english language that friends of caliberforumz posted for me ... I loved it, enjoy!

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  #17  
Old 10-25-2008, 11:31 AM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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OMG!!!! That was way too funny!!! I loved it!! Go post it on Nitroforumz too!!
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  #18  
Old 10-25-2008, 11:41 AM
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LYC79 LYC79 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJet View Post
OMG!!!! That was way too funny!!! I loved it!! Go post it on Nitroforumz too!!
Glad you liked it !!! OK
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  #19  
Old 10-29-2008, 05:54 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default Catholic School

Courtesy of the 300cZ:


CATHOLIC SCHOOL
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary
brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said,
"Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no." Well, then," she replied, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY" Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
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  #20  
Old 10-29-2008, 05:58 PM
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
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Default Frozen skunk

Courtesy of the 300cZ:

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.

There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O. K., Get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

"But what about the smell?"

"Just hold its little nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
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