DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum

Go Back   DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum > Dodge Ram Forum - Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion > Jokes/Humor


Notices


Latest Vendor News
AutoAnything
Addictive Desert Designs!
United Radio
Bayou Goat Mounts

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #61  
Old 11-07-2008, 08:17 AM
MrDodge300's Avatar
MrDodge300 MrDodge300 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!

 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Louisiana
Age: 27
Posts: 561
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 1986 dodge ramcharger
Color: Gray & silver
Engine: 1981-1987 318ci (5.2L) LA V8 140hp
Rep Power: 7
Rep:82
MrDodge300 will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to MrDodge300
Default

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob,
because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole
time, so they voted to take
turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his
eyes all bloodshot.

They said, 'Man, what happened to you?

He said, 'Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all
night. ' The next night it was a
different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing
up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said,
'Man, that Bob shakes the roof
with his snoring. I watched him all night .' The third night was
Pete's turn. Pete was a big burly
ex-Navy man; a man's man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. '
Good morning,' he said.
They couldn't believe it!

They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for
bed. I went and tucked Bob
into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.
Bob sat up and watched me all night.



Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 11-11-2008, 10:48 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 7
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default Peggy Sue!

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in. 'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?''
Iced tea, please,' Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' she asked.
'Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach...
''Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him.

'Really?' Fred replied; eyebrows rose.

'Oh yes,' the mother continued. 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!''

Is that so?' asked Fred incredulous.
'Yes,' said the mother. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!''
Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.
'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.'
The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.

THE DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 11-11-2008, 02:19 PM
MeanGirl's Avatar
MeanGirl MeanGirl is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southeast Texas
Age: 44
Posts: 922
Gender: Female
Vehicle: Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: the only color-BLACK!
Rep Power: 0
Rep:32
MeanGirl is on a distinguished road
Default

both very funny, I actually heard the deer camp one a few months ago and nearly pee'd my pants!!
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 11-11-2008, 11:57 PM
peshields peshields is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Dunkirk, IN
Age: 27
Posts: 118
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 1994 Dodge Ram
Color: Green
Engine: 1994-1997 360ci (5.9L) Magnum V8 230hp
Rep Power: 0
Rep:14
peshields is on a distinguished road
Default

What did the man say when his friend walked into a bar?


"watch where your going you idiot!"
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 11-12-2008, 02:53 AM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,685
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by peshields View Post
What did the man say when his friend walked into a bar?


"watch where your going you idiot!"
Funny........
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 11-12-2008, 10:50 AM
MeanGirl's Avatar
MeanGirl MeanGirl is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southeast Texas
Age: 44
Posts: 922
Gender: Female
Vehicle: Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: the only color-BLACK!
Rep Power: 0
Rep:32
MeanGirl is on a distinguished road
Default

lol, sort of hits ya right there huh....lol
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 11-13-2008, 10:01 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 7
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default Things to ponder!

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22. OK. So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 11-13-2008, 10:19 AM
MeanGirl's Avatar
MeanGirl MeanGirl is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southeast Texas
Age: 44
Posts: 922
Gender: Female
Vehicle: Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: the only color-BLACK!
Rep Power: 0
Rep:32
MeanGirl is on a distinguished road
Default

very funny RLR!!
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 11-13-2008, 11:25 AM
hh53helomech hh53helomech is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: albuquerque new mexico
Posts: 41
Gender: Not Specified
Vehicle: 2006 ram 1500
Trim Level: st
Color: inferno red
Rep Power: 0
Rep:27
hh53helomech is on a distinguished road
Default

You find out interesting facts/things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 11-13-2008, 11:28 AM
hh53helomech hh53helomech is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: albuquerque new mexico
Posts: 41
Gender: Not Specified
Vehicle: 2006 ram 1500
Trim Level: st
Color: inferno red
Rep Power: 0
Rep:27
hh53helomech is on a distinguished road
Default

Triplets


A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked
robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily
the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it
was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a
healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in
tears.

'What's wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet
came out,' replied the daughter.

The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. 'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.'

Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son w alked into the room in tears. 'It's okay' said the
Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.'

'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'



________________________________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Advertisement






All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:30 PM.


= Copyright RamForumZ.com a Gigathreads.com Network Site =Ad Management by RedTyger
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vB.Sponsors


=Gigathreads Network=
CLUBS MOPAR NATION DSM GPMM MAMM JAM
DIESEL Diesel Forum      
CHEVY Chevy Camaro Forum Chevy Volt Forum    
CHRYSLER Chrysler 300C Forum      
DODGE Dodge Avenger Forum Dodge Caliber Forum Dodge Challenger Forum Dodge Charger Forum
  Dodge Circuit Forum Dodge Hornet Forum Dodge Magnum Forum Dodge Nitro Forum
  Dodge Ram Forum Dodge Dakota Forum Dodge Durango Forum Dodge Dart Forum
FORD Ford Raptor Forum Ford F150 Forum Ford F100 Forum  
JEEP Jeep Forum      
PONTIAC Pontiac G8 Forum      
SRT SRT Viper Forum SRT Cuda Forum