Pay raise denied
I, the Penis, request a pay raise due to following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything i do.
... 4. I work weekends & holidays.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in dark areas with poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to disease.
I was greeted with this reply:
Your request has been denied for the following reasons:
1. You don't work 8 hours straight.
2. You work in short spurts & fall asleep after each brief work period.
3. You don't stay in your designated area, & are frequently found in other locations.
4. You don't take initiative & must be stimulated to start working.
5. You leave your work place messy at the end of your shift.
6. You are unable to work overtime or double shifts.
7. You sometimes leave your designated work area before completing the assigned task.
8. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the work place with two suspicious bags.
If you can't run with the Big Dogs, Stay on the porch.