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  #1  
Old 07-23-2012, 03:50 AM
kn1ght kn1ght is offline
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Default Wife and I split up...

Here it is guys. Over the past few months my wife and I had been fighting quite a bit, over little things. Anyway, we finally did the papers on it. Now here is my issue, I do still care for her. And part of me wants to try to talk to her, try to save something. But at the same time I'm so mad that anytime I do talk to her It's nothing but anger. I have decided to try my best here to get past her, and cut her out of my life. My big question is, how? I've never done this before, she was my first girlfriend, first everything... I feel like I'm falling apart here. Anyone with a little experience or just helpful words, feel free to throw them out there. Thank you.
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Old 07-23-2012, 06:41 AM
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That sucks man. Sorry to hear it, but this is a decision you need to sort out for yourself friend. I have found that getting involved in someone elses love life is best left to the pros. (marriage counselor) I am married to wife number 3 and it has been 18 years together. I would not trade her for anything. Good luck.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:43 AM
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Never make decisions in anger, you might regret it later. Been married twice so I know. You have to draw the line somewhere and stay true to yourself. If you don't/can't work through the issues then don't stay together to the point of hating each other. If you think with outside help you can work things out, do it. I get the underlying tone from your post you really want it to work.

My parting thought is if you do part ways, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror and know in your heart you did all you could to save it before giving up? Living with regret or doubts isn't fun.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by BlueJet View Post
Never make decisions in anger, you might regret it later. Been married twice so I know. You have to draw the line somewhere and stay true to yourself. If you don't/can't work through the issues then don't stay together to the point of hating each other. If you think with outside help you can work things out, do it. I get the underlying tone from your post you really want it to work.

My parting thought is if you do part ways, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror and know in your heart you did all you could to save it before giving up? Living with regret or doubts isn't fun.
Now, who gave up on you? Lemmie at 'im

Kidding, but seriously Stacy is right, Do all you can, and when you feel there is nothing else you can do, you have to move on.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:18 AM
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If you want to stay with her(if you care about her) seek counseling.
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Old 07-23-2012, 11:03 AM
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Only advice I can give you is if you don't have any kids, make sure you won't have any. Just saying she has you over and your emotions take over. If you end up getting her pregnant she will have a hold on your wallet for the next 20 some years, and you still may not end up with her. If you are serious about it being done, then just go your way and avoid being around her. It is hard but in the long run it is cheaper.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:10 PM
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You're 20 years old and currently married to your first true love? I love to hear those stories that work out, but honestly, the odds were against you from the start.

I strongly agree that it's best to decide together -with or without council- if you're both willing to make the effort and compromises WHILE you can still be civil. If you both agree that it just isn't working out and can part ways amicably, that would be a good thing.

But as the first response said: This is really a matter for your two heads and hearts

Sorry to hear about anyone going through this - it sucks not matter how you look at it You Will get through and recover either way though!
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:24 PM
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It takes two to work it out try whatever possible(communication most important)you can but if she's not willing to open up then it's a loss.try in open her up(talk) try something new different do stuff or something out the ordinary you would do,if you can't to work it out.
Little things can lead to big.
I'm very sorry to hear your issue been through it before,remember we all change most important to marriage is to change Together otherwise it will come back the relationship to be bad for both. Again I'm sorry to hear you troubles.
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Old 07-23-2012, 06:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJet View Post
Never make decisions in anger, you might regret it later. Been married twice so I know. You have to draw the line somewhere and stay true to yourself. If you don't/can't work through the issues then don't stay together to the point of hating each other. If you think with outside help you can work things out, do it. I get the underlying tone from your post you really want it to work.

My parting thought is if you do part ways, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror and know in your heart you did all you could to save it before giving up? Living with regret or doubts isn't fun.
^^ Einstein's definition of insanity ^^ (http://www.scribd.com/doc/13298995/A...on-of-Insanity)

There are help groups out there, individual and group counseling to give you a better understanding of what you're feeling and how to deal with those feelings.

I recently went through a divorce and am still in a custody battle so I can empathize with you to a certain extent.

I'd like to offer advise but the only thing that comes to mind is DO NOT rebound and settle for someone that will take your mind off what you're going through because that just complicates things. I've seen friends go as far as trying to appease Miss. Wrong just not to experience the feelings of dispair and abandonment...never ends well.

Check (I know this sounds overboard) with something like suicide hotline and they can direct you to someone that can help you more specific to your issue, and set a time frame to not get involved in a rebound. Check the resources in your local community and suggest couples counseling. As the all wise and knowing BlueJet said, it does sound like you want it to work, but it's not going to work on it's own. A professional can give you direction.

And now the real me...If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it was yours. If it doesn't...hunt it down and kill it.

THAT WAS JUST A JOKE AND IN NO WAY INTENDED TO BE OFFERED AS ADVISE. IT IN NO WAY WAS INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY NOR WAS IT ENDORSED IN ANY WAY BY RAMFORUMZ IT'S MEMBERS OR ADMINISTRATORS.
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Last edited by Warlock III; 07-23-2012 at 06:58 PM.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:57 PM
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i agree with blue jet. try to work things out, cause if you dont you might never be able to go back and try again. give it all youve got, cause if you dont you might regret it forever.
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