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Old 12-05-2013, 12:04 AM
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Default The Best Practical Jokes

OK. Tell the best practical jokes you have seen, done or been a victim of. I have slowed down in my old age but I used to pull a lot of jokes on people. Hot sauce in their drinks, freeze their car keys in a 5 gallon bucket of water, hang their bicycle from the roof over the back door. etc. So people were always gunning for me.

The best anyone has got me:


When I was married my (ex)wife and I only had one car (And stupidly one set of keys.) for awhile. She would drop the car off and keys and go out drinking while I worked nights at the restaurant. Well, one night she was in a hurry to drink and gave the keys to the bartender to give to me. He decided to call another bartender that had the night off to come in, grab my keys, and make a copy of the car key. Then he brought them back and when I walked out in to the bar to check and see if she dropped the keys off the bartender working handed them to me. I was none the wiser.

Fast forward a few weeks and the (ex)wife and I head out to the car for her to drop me off at work one afternoon. I walk around and wait for her to unlock the doors with the FOB. She gets to about two feet from the driver door and stops. She says "WTF?" except she says it. I look at what she is looking at, the car. It is completely filled on the inside with packing peanuts and small balloons. I mean FULL. We had to go in the house to get a few garbage bags to get some of the peanuts out so she could drive. We finally squish our way in. It took $15 and two separate industrial car wash vacuums from two completely separate car washes to get them all out. We were finding packing peanuts for weeks in that car. Turns out they video taped it all. They were drunk.



The best I have ever gotten someone else:

Sooo, in preparation of paying them back I bought some salmon from the restaurant. I put it in a sour cream container (A circular tub that has a reusable lid and is used to deliver 5 ponds of sour cream in.) and taped it closed with packing tape. It was air tight. Then I put it in the back room for a week. It was summer. There was no AC in that room.

One day one of the perps left his car door open. Victory! I bought another piece of salmon and put it in a Styrofoam takeout container. That I put underneath the front passenger seat of his car. The salmon that has been marinating for the better part of a week I put behind his rear seat in a plastic sealable takeout container that I cut holes in the top of. Well, his car sat there in the summer sun for three hours. The car was parked about twenty five feet from the back door of the restaurant and you could smell it as soon a you opened that back door. He was livid. He found the fresh salmon under the front seat right away.

He came back to work the next day saying I had ruined his car and he spent an hour shampooing the carpets to get the smell out.

I looked him right in the eye and said "Well, why don't you take out the salmon from behind the back seat?" He sprinted to his car. The smell was gone in a few hours with the windows down.

Checkmate.



The best I ever saw someone do to someone else was at the same restaurant. The other Chef who worked under me lured a live seagull in to the Service and Beverage Managers car. That thing freaked out and shit everywhere.

Priceless.
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Last edited by DarthRam; 12-05-2013 at 10:33 AM.
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:18 AM
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One day a new customer came to the Biker Bar where everyone rode Harleys
He had some kind of Jap ricer & parked on the street right in front of the main door
he was bragging on his bike, never leaking, always started, etc.

I walked up the street to a little market, bought some brown & white rice
sprinkled some brown rice under his engine, then took the white rice & pushed all that i could in the exhaust

He walked out after drinking quite a bit, still bragging about his ricer
Just about everyone walked out with him, most of them were glad to see him gone
Everyone saw the brown rice under the engine & made several derogatory comments about ricers, he sort of laughed it off. Then he went to start the engine, again mentioning how well it always started. He kicked the starter & nothing happened except for some rice pooping out of the exhaust, he kicked it again & more rice pooped out, on the 3rd kick the engine fired off & the last of the rice shot across the sidewalk hitting everyone that was back there.
Of course everyone was making comments about ricers as the guy put on his helmet, then he took off as fast as he could
We were laughing so hard that we had water in our eyes, i don't remember if he ever returned.
--------------------------------------------------------------
not so much of a joke or prank
Another time a guy rode a ricer to a friends house, we were all having a party, about 30 Harleys & 2 or 3 VW trikes & one ricer, somehow it burned up in flames, someone didn't like the guy apparently. We found out later that the guy had borrowed the bike from someone just to get to the party, he didn't feel like driving his own 4 wheeler.
I often wonder how he explained that to the person he borrowed it from
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:52 AM
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My 14 year old daughter kept drinking straight out of the milk jug. And then, she drink most of it and leave maybe a swig in there, then put it back in the fridge. Time and time again I told her not to drink from the jug and really jump on her for putting it back in the fridge when there was just a little bit left. Finally, I got fed up and on the next jug of milk, when it got down to about where she would drink it out of the jug, leave a little and then put it back, I took some dish soap and lubed up the pour spout really good. So the next time she took a swig, she got a real soapy swig of milk. Cruel? Maybe, but I laffed and laffed and she never did it again. And, yes, I made her clean up the mess she made in the kitchen when she spit it out everywhere.
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Old 12-05-2013, 04:19 AM
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your a meanie & she was a quick learner !!

that is as bad as putting clear assembly lube on the work shops door handle
except when the superintendent was the first one to go out there one day
a special Safety meeting was called instantly
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Old 12-05-2013, 08:31 AM
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Many years ago when I was in the military there was a mechanic in our shop that was so full of himself people were getting pissed. One day a couple other mechs decided it was time to put him in his place. A drill. a couple grease zerts and the high pressure grease gun was all it took. There wasn't a tool o square inch of box that wasn't covered.

Another guy had an Austin mini and used to get so drunk that he could not ever remember the night before. A group of guys got together and carried his mini up 5 steps and put it between two pillars on the front of the barracks block. When he got up to go for breakfast and went out the doors of the block, first thing he saw was his mini parked with about 2 feet on the front and back and left him scratching his head trying to figure out how he parked it there.
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Old 12-05-2013, 08:53 AM
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Years ago I worked for a office supply warehouse that fulfilled orders for business office supplies. I had bought my first brand new car and one day this d*ck at work shrinkwrapped my brand new car in the hot sun. he laid it on so thick that I needed a razor blade to remove it. Needless to say I was unamused.

Victory, however was soon mine. I let a week or two pass by, and made a point to arrive to work 15 mins late. I reached up under his '86 Monte Carlo SS that he was soo very proud of, and removed the starter, placing it in my trunk.
The next day when he got to work, he went on and on how his starter had fallen out the day before, and it had cost him some 250.00 between the tow home and cost of a new starter. At break I got his original starter from my trunk, and placed it in a box, sending it down the conveyor belt with a love note to him Laverne and Shirley style.
Ohhhhh but he was pizzed off but never again did he mess with my car.
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Old 12-05-2013, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RogerRamJet View Post
My 14 year old daughter kept drinking straight out of the milk jug. And then, she drink most of it and leave maybe a swig in there, then put it back in the fridge. Time and time again I told her not to drink from the jug and really jump on her for putting it back in the fridge when there was just a little bit left. Finally, I got fed up and on the next jug of milk, when it got down to about where she would drink it out of the jug, leave a little and then put it back, I took some dish soap and lubed up the pour spout really good. So the next time she took a swig, she got a real soapy swig of milk. Cruel? Maybe, but I laffed and laffed and she never did it again. And, yes, I made her clean up the mess she made in the kitchen when she spit it out everywhere.
My youngest boy has a bad habit of sneaking into the fridge at 3am and raiding it like hes not eaten in a month. Not that his having a snack is a problem, but usually he leaves a huge mess, fridge door open, etc. After numerous times having to get onto him for it, I finally broke his habit. A 2qt pitcher of water placed on top the fridge placed so it overlapped the door. That night we awoke at 3:30 to a crash and a rather loud howl from a very wet 10yr old. I too made him mop up his mess.
I laughed till my sides hurt
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Old 12-05-2013, 09:05 AM
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These reminded me of a few. There is this product for washing floors by EcoLab. It is called Wash N Walk. Well, it looks exactly like green coolant when it hasn't been agitated to get sudsy. We used to pour that in the front of employee cars all the time and watch. The sheer panic on peoples faces was funny. Cruel I know.

One of the guys I worked with took a another guy's helmet, unsnapped the cushion part inside, and jammed blue cheese crumbles in the helmet and then put the cushion back in. It was summer and it took him two days to figure it out.

Another thing to do was squirt stuff underneath door handles of the line coolers. When you went to grab the handle you would get a hand full of mayo or BBQ sauce. Childish but funny. Well, one guy took it to the next level. He squirted chocolate sauce underneath the driver side door handle of one of the guy's car. Then he got a whole bunch of people to look out the window and watch the ensuing hilarity. This guy gets to his car and reaches for the handle. He pulls his hand back really quick like he got bit or something. He stares at his fingers for a few seconds. He then puts his fingers slowly to his nose to sniff whatever is on them. He starts looking around. One of the guys insides says "Five bucks says he tastes it." Not two seconds later he proceeds to lick his fingers.
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Old 12-05-2013, 09:20 AM
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Many years ago when my ex and I lived in Long Island, NY, my ex had lost her job and was looking for another. My mother had a lot of contacts and resources and said she would see what she could do to help. After about a week and on April fools day, I called my ex from work and said my mother had a lead on a job and gave me a number to call a Mr. Fox. I gave her the phone number for the Long Island Game Farm. Needless to say she was not amused.
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Old 12-05-2013, 09:58 AM
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oooo this reminds me of college we got in a prank war with the girl down the hall.

the winning prank was on our end, it stopped it all.


We went around to various stores and asked for their old phone books. We got 16 phone books in one day.

We sat in my dorm and ripped every single last page out of 16 phone books and crumpled them into paper balls.

Her door to her room was recessed into the wall so there was a 4x4x10' volume of space in front of her door. we put duct tape as a barrier and FILLED that volume of space completely with paper balls.

She was PISSED. we watched her recruit her sorority friends to come help her throw them all away.
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