DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum

Go Back   DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum > Dodge Ram Forum - Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion > Jokes/Humor


Notices


Latest Vendor News
AutoAnything
Addictive Desert Designs!
Bayou Goat Mounts

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #201  
Old 01-13-2009, 10:47 AM
hemidiz's Avatar
hemidiz hemidiz is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Age: 42
Posts: 64
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2009 Dodge Ram 1500
Trim Level: XLT
Color: off-white
Engine: 2009-2010 345ci (5.7L) Hemi V8 390hp 407lb/ft
Rep Power: 0
Rep:15
hemidiz is on a distinguished road
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by LYC79 View Post
Do You Know Why?









Do you know why, When a woman wears a leather dress,
A man's heart beats quicker, And his throat gets dry,
He goes weak in the knees, And he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?









It's Because she smells like a new truck.


LMAO!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #202  
Old 01-15-2009, 04:46 AM
LYC79's Avatar
LYC79 LYC79 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ITALY
Age: 34
Posts: 6,615
Gender: Female
Vehicle: '08 Caliber & '09 Nitro
Trim Level: SXT CRD 2.0 / 2.8
Color: Stone White / Brilliant Black
Rep Power: 9
Rep:426
LYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really nice
Default Short Love Story ...

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ****ing blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.

_____________________________
The End
Reply With Quote
  #203  
Old 01-15-2009, 06:29 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 6
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default

...........And they say love is dead!
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #204  
Old 01-15-2009, 10:13 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 6
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default Compliments!

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's good.'
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #205  
Old 01-15-2009, 10:23 AM
LYC79's Avatar
LYC79 LYC79 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ITALY
Age: 34
Posts: 6,615
Gender: Female
Vehicle: '08 Caliber & '09 Nitro
Trim Level: SXT CRD 2.0 / 2.8
Color: Stone White / Brilliant Black
Rep Power: 9
Rep:426
LYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really nice
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RLRambler View Post
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's good.'
... GOOD ONE LES !!!
Reply With Quote
  #206  
Old 01-16-2009, 06:52 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 6
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default

A Greek and an Scotsman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.
The Scotsman then replies, 'Well... it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.'
The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.' The Scotsman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.'
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!'
The Scotsman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women.'
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #207  
Old 01-16-2009, 09:24 AM
LYC79's Avatar
LYC79 LYC79 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ITALY
Age: 34
Posts: 6,615
Gender: Female
Vehicle: '08 Caliber & '09 Nitro
Trim Level: SXT CRD 2.0 / 2.8
Color: Stone White / Brilliant Black
Rep Power: 9
Rep:426
LYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really nice
Default

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
An impressive new book. It's called .........
'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
And be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and
Your boss, the Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone

5. The only time the world beats a path to
Your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.
The seat folded up, the drink spilled and
That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes
Now, of course, there's
shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking
the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just
Vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my
Mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all
I needed was turn signal fluid.'


11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
Reply With Quote
  #208  
Old 01-17-2009, 11:19 AM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 6
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default Ducks in Heaven!

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.'
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
  #209  
Old 01-18-2009, 03:56 PM
LYC79's Avatar
LYC79 LYC79 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ITALY
Age: 34
Posts: 6,615
Gender: Female
Vehicle: '08 Caliber & '09 Nitro
Trim Level: SXT CRD 2.0 / 2.8
Color: Stone White / Brilliant Black
Rep Power: 9
Rep:426
LYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really nice
Default

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were
lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street
and was so ashamed. Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh Oranges
to those waiting. Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got
at the end of the line . When the policeman got to the end and saw
her , he was amazed. He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck' em dry!"


The policeman fainted.

Last edited by LYC79; 01-19-2009 at 02:57 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #210  
Old 01-21-2009, 12:03 PM
RLRambler's Avatar
RLRambler RLRambler is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raquette Lake NY
Age: 67
Posts: 1,333
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2008 1500 Ram Quad Cab 4x4
Trim Level: Big Horn
Color: Inferno Red
Engine: 2008-2008 287ci (4.7L) PowerTech V8 310hp 330lb/ft
Rep Power: 6
Rep:114
RLRambler will become famous soon enoughRLRambler will become famous soon enough
Send a message via Yahoo to RLRambler Send a message via Skype™ to RLRambler
Default Tattoo!

Brian and Cindy Blossom were about to have their first wedding anniversary and Cindy wanted to do something special. She decided to get a tattoo because Brian thought they were very sexy.

She goes to the tattoo parlor and can't decide on a design, so she decides to get Brian's initials BB tattooed on her rear. She gets a B on each cheek.

She goes home and waits for Brian to come home. When she hears his car pull into the driveway, she drops her pants bends over and grabs her ankles making her new tattoo the first thing he sees when he walks in.

The door opens, her husband walks in and with an angered look on his face he yells "WHO THE HELL IS BOB?"
_________________________
__________________
If I knew then what I know now.................I would still have done it..........But enjoyed it more!

Les.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Advertisement






All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:50 AM.


= Copyright RamForumZ.com a Gigathreads.com Network Site =Ad Management by RedTyger
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vB.Sponsors


=Gigathreads Network=
CLUBS MOPAR NATION DSM GPMM MAMM JAM
DIESEL Diesel Forum      
CHEVY Chevy Camaro Forum Chevy Volt Forum    
CHRYSLER Chrysler 300C Forum      
DODGE Dodge Avenger Forum Dodge Caliber Forum Dodge Challenger Forum Dodge Charger Forum
  Dodge Circuit Forum Dodge Hornet Forum Dodge Magnum Forum Dodge Nitro Forum
  Dodge Ram Forum Dodge Dakota Forum Dodge Durango Forum Dodge Dart Forum
FORD Ford Raptor Forum Ford F150 Forum Ford F100 Forum  
JEEP Jeep Forum      
PONTIAC Pontiac G8 Forum      
SRT SRT Viper Forum SRT Cuda Forum