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  #281  
Old 10-08-2009, 09:57 PM
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Default Catholic Shampoo

Catholic Shampoo

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer.
The first nun said it would be nice to enjoy a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one,
but that she wouldn't feel comfortable about buying it.
The first nun replied that she could handle that without a problem, so she picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face, so the nun said, "We use beer for washing our hair; a sort of shampoo, if you will."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter,
pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, "The curlers are on the house."
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  #282  
Old 10-09-2009, 09:07 AM
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LOL

Sorry maybe a bit but funny :
A VERY ugly man walks into a bar with a big grin on his face, and orders a draft beer. 'What are you so happy about?', asks the Bartender.

'Well, I'll tell you,' replies the ugly man.. 'As you know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home from the bar, last night, I discovered a young woman tied to the tracks, just like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free, and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything: me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!'

'Fantastic, you lucky bastard!', exclaimed the Bartender. Was she pretty?'


'Don't know. Never found her head."
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  #283  
Old 10-09-2009, 09:30 AM
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Ewwww.... I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
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  #284  
Old 10-09-2009, 04:58 PM
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Default That's when the fight Started!

My wife had been hinting for months before her birthday she wanted something that went from 0 to 180 in 3 seconds..............................I bought her a set of bathroom scales.............................That's when the fight started!
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  #285  
Old 10-12-2009, 10:10 PM
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Default Time for a good laugh!

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Falujah when they came
upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a less
serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was
given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had
happened. The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north
along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed
insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along
the road.

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag
who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a
fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn't know how to
drive.

So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-
spirited lesbian!

He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when
a truck hit us."
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  #286  
Old 10-12-2009, 10:16 PM
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Default Good oldie!

A burglar broke into a house and shined his flashlight around looking for valuables.

He picked up a CD player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: 'Jesus is watching you..' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlight and froze.

When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out he heard: 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically. Finally, in the corner of the room his light beam came to rest on a parrot.

Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

Moses,' replied the bird.

Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

"The same kind that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
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  #287  
Old 10-13-2009, 12:10 PM
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The last one was just too funny sis


I have one too:

" Grandma and grandpa were watching a religious healing program on tv.....
The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the tv and the other on the body part they wanted healed...

Grandma hobbled to the tv and put one hand on the tv and the other on her arthritic hip..
Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the tv and the other on his crotch...


Grandma looked at him with disgust: "you just don't understand, you old coot.....the purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead."
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  #288  
Old 10-14-2009, 12:42 AM
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ROTFLMAO! Good one, Licia!!!

- Cajun
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  #289  
Old 10-15-2009, 07:39 PM
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Online Dating...



Always ask for more than one photo!!!

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  #290  
Old 10-15-2009, 11:23 PM
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That's just GROSSSSSSS, lol!

- Cajun
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