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  #291  
Old 10-15-2009, 11:32 PM
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I got this one on my cell today:


Tell your boyfriend to stop texting me. I don't care that he got new socks!
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  #292  
Old 10-16-2009, 12:21 AM
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You poor, poor thing, and your phone still works properly???

- Cajun
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  #293  
Old 10-16-2009, 12:46 AM
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What scares me is that they look like the same guy... man-boobs and all.
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  #294  
Old 10-16-2009, 12:53 AM
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Yeah, guess as he got older he discovered Nair, lol!

- Cajun
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  #295  
Old 10-20-2009, 09:49 PM
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Default Henry Ford

Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven.
At the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: "Well, you've been such a good guy, invented the car, changed the world. As a reward you can hang out with anybody in Heaven of your choice."
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: "I would like to hang out with God himself?"
So St Peter takes him directly to God's thrown and Henry Ford starts by saying: "God, I don't want to sound biased, but you have some major design flaws in Your invention, the Woman.
1. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much
4. The intake is too close to the exhaust."
"MMMMM" says God and goes over to the Celestial Super Computer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results.
He then turns to Henry Ford and says; "It may be that My invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer more men are riding My invention then your's".
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  #296  
Old 10-21-2009, 09:08 AM
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Default The secret of stamina

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves .... by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard!"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this but me."
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  #297  
Old 10-21-2009, 09:34 AM
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Default

Oh sis!!!
That was a funny one, so was Tom's!!
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  #298  
Old 10-21-2009, 10:21 AM
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  #299  
Old 10-22-2009, 06:04 AM
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Default Quick Comeback!

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."
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  #300  
Old 10-23-2009, 10:09 PM
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Default jokes

I will try and remember to post a joke here not somewhere else the next time. Pretty funny so far. If anyone is into hockey this could be good. What does the Titanic and the Toronto maple leafs have in common............................................ .................................................. ..........................................They are both great until they hit the ice. Oh yah i bleed blue Toronto all the way. Go leafs
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