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  #331  
Old 01-21-2010, 01:43 AM
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How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb? 2.
One to hold the light bulb and one to drink til the room starts spinning.
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  #332  
Old 01-21-2010, 01:47 AM
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Thats joke is awesome haha nice one Hemi.
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  #333  
Old 01-21-2010, 10:50 PM
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Casey was attending his cousin's wedding, and his elderly aunt kept coming up and poking him in the ribs saying "you're next." She did this at the next wedding too, and Casey was getting a little annoyed. Aftter the 3rd wedding he was fed up with his elderly aunt. When attending a family funeral., he went up to his elderly aunt, poking her in the ribs saying "you're next"... she didn't say it again.
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  #334  
Old 01-22-2010, 04:26 AM
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I got this in an email yesterday and just about died laughing....thought I'd share with you all so you too can choke on your food while reading!

UNSW's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.



No further studies are expected.
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  #335  
Old 01-25-2010, 10:24 PM
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Default 3 Good Arguments

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion


But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures...

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do....

Last edited by BlueJet; 01-26-2010 at 09:14 AM.
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  #336  
Old 01-25-2010, 11:40 PM
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Good one! Although I don't think that the would that funny
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  #337  
Old 01-25-2010, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ICOVERU View Post
I got this in an email yesterday and just about died laughing....thought I'd share with you all so you too can choke on your food while reading!

UNSW's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.



No further studies are expected.
They talked about that on a Discovery channel documentary about mating habits of humans. It was interesting and funny at the same time.
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  #338  
Old 01-26-2010, 03:49 AM
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LMAO @ Stacy, and so very true!!!

- Cajun
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  #339  
Old 01-26-2010, 12:13 PM
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Default Deaf Sex!

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read.

After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, thewife figures out a solution. She writes, "Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex
with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times."
The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife "If she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis One time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times."


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  #340  
Old 01-26-2010, 12:16 PM
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Default Good Advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Woman goes to the Doctors and she is covered in bruises............


Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."

Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle".

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.

Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
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