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  #371  
Old 07-13-2010, 01:38 AM
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Thats pretty good Paris.

Reading these i rememberd one, so here goes...

The teacher stood up at the front of the class and say, "Alright students, were going to go thru the letters of the alphabet and i want each of you to make a word using that letter, who wants to go first?"

Johnny was the first to throw his hand in the air when the teacher said, "A"

She knew he would be nasty and say dirty words so she called one someone else.

The teacher said "B" and once again Johnny threw his hand up. This happend all the way thru the alphabet until finally when they got to the letter R. The teacher couldnt think of anything he could say that was dirty with the letter R so she took and deep breath and said "Ok Johnny, make me a word with the letter R."

Johnny jump out of his desk and cleard his throat and said....

"Rat! With a dick this big!" (Visualize a kid with his hands apart lol)
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  #372  
Old 08-16-2010, 05:25 AM
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Hilarious, thanks for sharing!!
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  #373  
Old 08-30-2010, 05:20 AM
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HAHA

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
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  #374  
Old 09-07-2010, 02:13 PM
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Omg hahahah!!!
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  #375  
Old 10-14-2010, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bawwagner View Post
HAHA

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
bwahahahahahaha!
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  #376  
Old 10-14-2010, 01:48 PM
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Chuckled when i read this one on another forum.

Three ducks walked into a bar. "Say, what's your name?" asked the bartender to the first duck. "Huey," replied the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said the duck. "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. Then he said to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two. "So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked. "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" So the bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" "No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles
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  #377  
Old 12-19-2010, 10:16 PM
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A true story,
I went to the Dr, today. He told me I had to stop masturbating, I ask why !!
He said .. Well I'm trying to examine you ...
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  #378  
Old 01-02-2011, 02:23 PM
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A man has six children, and is very proud of the achievement. He is so proud he starts calling his wife mother of six. His wife objects but he still insists. They go to an outing one night and he was wondering if his wife was ready to go so he ask from across the room, "Are you ready to go, mother of six?" She was very angry and replies "Anyime you are, Father of four!"
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  #379  
Old 08-24-2011, 01:13 PM
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First-year students at the Purdue Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body."

For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid.
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  #380  
Old 03-08-2013, 09:17 PM
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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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