DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum

Go Back   DODGE RAM FORUM - Ram Forums and Owners Club! - Dodge Truck Forum > Dodge Ram Forum - Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion > Jokes/Humor


Notices


Latest Vendor News
AutoAnything
Addictive Desert Designs!
United Radio
Bayou Goat Mounts

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-04-2009, 12:41 PM
erm
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default And Then The Fight Started...

A little humor is good for the soul!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while
we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up
the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential downpour.. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled
back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid
husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in about 3 seconds...'

I bought her a set of scales.

And then the fight started.....

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started....

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age... I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office..

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took
to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My goodness!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me, 'I
feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's pretty near perfect..'

And then the fight started.....
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #2  
Old 10-04-2009, 12:47 PM
Toms Blue Ram 1500's Avatar
Toms Blue Ram 1500 Toms Blue Ram 1500 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Dundalk , Md .
Age: 50
Posts: 21,491
Gender: Male
Vehicle: '01 Ram 1500
Trim Level: Sport with Off-Road
Color: Intense Blue
Engine: 1998-2001 360ci (5.9L) Magnum V8 245hp(standard), 250hp(Sport package)
Rep Power: 19
Rep:1588
Toms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant futureToms Blue Ram 1500 has a brilliant future
Default

Good one . Copy and pasted , sending out on e-mail .
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-04-2009, 01:18 PM
BlueJet's Avatar
BlueJet BlueJet is offline
Administrator


 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 56,431
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2007 Dodge Nitro
Trim Level: SLT
Color: Electric Blue
Rep Power: 42
Rep:3944
BlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond reputeBlueJet has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Those are funny! Read them to my dad!
__________________



Like what you see? Support this fine site!

Go here for great how-to's and make sure you know the rules!

Make sure you show off your Ram by posting pics in the GALLERY!!

L.O.B.

Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-04-2009, 01:55 PM
CdnoilRAM's Avatar
CdnoilRAM CdnoilRAM is offline
I push the skinny pedal


 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calgary, AB, CA
Age: 30
Posts: 17,197
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2009 Blown 349 Hemi
Trim Level: Sport - Modified
Color: Brilliant Black/Snake Skin Green
Engine: 2009-2012 345ci (5.7L) Hemi V8 390hp 407lb/ft
Rep Power: 20
Rep:3277
CdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond reputeCdnoilRAM has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Lol, I've done the same tom, that's too good to pass up on.
__________________
Sponsored by Bully's Performance
Green Mamba '09 Ram 1500 QCRB 4x4 Sport - dropped, blown, and bottle fed
Kurtis
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-04-2009, 02:40 PM
erm
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Glad you folks liked the funnies.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-04-2009, 10:05 PM
CajunDodge's Avatar
CajunDodge CajunDodge is offline
Administrator




 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Morgan City, LA
Age: 38
Posts: 45,284
Gender: Female
Vehicle: 2008 Dodge RAM 1500
Trim Level: ST SWB Regular Cab
Color: Bright Silver Metallic
Engine: 2002-2008 226ci (3.7L) Magnum/PowerTech V6 215hp 235lb/ft
Rep Power: 36
Rep:4035
CajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond reputeCajunDodge has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Those are good, and same here, copied, pasted and sent, thanks for the laugh!

- Cajun
__________________
CajunDodge - 2008 Dodge RAM 1500 ST SWB, Bright Silver Metallic, Magnum V-6

New to RamForumZ? Introduce yourself in the NEWBIE CHECKIN!
Need help? PM me or leave a message on my PROFILE PAGE!
Enjoy RamForumZ? Support your forum and become a SITE SUPPORTER today!
Like a member's post? Let 'em know and add some REP POINTS!
Please be sure you understand the Ram ForumZ RULES!

Who Dat Nation Super Bowl XLIV Champions - Geaux Saints!!!

ASE certified Automotive Parts Specialist
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-05-2009, 10:20 AM
LYC79's Avatar
LYC79 LYC79 is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ITALY
Age: 35
Posts: 6,615
Gender: Female
Vehicle: '08 Caliber & '09 Nitro
Trim Level: SXT CRD 2.0 / 2.8
Color: Stone White / Brilliant Black
Rep Power: 10
Rep:426
LYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really niceLYC79 is just really nice
Default

LMAO !!! Those are just too funny not to share , I'm going to post them on the Caliber side. Hope you don't mind Michael !
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-05-2009, 11:55 AM
erm
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Be my guest, Licia!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-05-2009, 11:58 AM
chithead's Avatar
chithead chithead is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Landis, NC
Age: 33
Posts: 12,930
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2010 Dodge Ram
Trim Level: R/T Baby!!!
Color: Bright White
Rep Power: 16
Rep:2078
chithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond reputechithead has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Ha! Good times...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-05-2009, 09:07 PM
sincebeen's Avatar
sincebeen sincebeen is offline
Dodge Ram Forum Senior Member!
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: MI
Age: 35
Posts: 264
Gender: Male
Vehicle: 2012 Ram 1500 CrewCab
Trim Level: Sport
Color: White
Rep Power: 0
Rep:72
sincebeen will become famous soon enough
Default

i just had the bright idea of trying the "dust" one on my wife... so it's almost a true story
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Advertisement






All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:10 AM.


= Copyright RamForumZ.com a Gigathreads.com Network Site =Ad Management by RedTyger
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vB.Sponsors


=Gigathreads Network=
CLUBS MOPAR NATION DSM GPMM MAMM JAM
DIESEL Diesel Forum      
CHEVY Chevy Camaro Forum Chevy Volt Forum    
CHRYSLER Chrysler 300C Forum      
DODGE Dodge Avenger Forum Dodge Caliber Forum Dodge Challenger Forum Dodge Charger Forum
  Dodge Circuit Forum Dodge Hornet Forum Dodge Magnum Forum Dodge Nitro Forum
  Dodge Ram Forum Dodge Dakota Forum Dodge Durango Forum Dodge Dart Forum
FORD Ford Raptor Forum Ford F150 Forum Ford F100 Forum  
JEEP Jeep Forum      
PONTIAC Pontiac G8 Forum      
SRT SRT Viper Forum SRT Cuda Forum