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  #1  
Old 01-14-2010, 04:35 PM
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Default Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:49 PM
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LOL i bet the pansy anti leather people won't be visiting any more motorcycle rallys, any person that isn't a invited to join a meet, is really just asking for a bit of biker fun, there are over 10,000 bikers that go to that meet, called Thunder in the Valley
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:52 PM
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Wow Daniel........you must be bored today! LMAO!
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:58 PM
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It's slow for sure... but I thought others might get a kick out of that story.
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:09 PM
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Held them down and farted on their heads, now thats just funny. lol
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:20 PM
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LMAO! That was a great story!
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:17 PM
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Nice story Daniel . That's what they get for being somewhere their not wanted .
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:46 PM
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Now that's classic I love it lol. Maybe they should stick with trying to intimidate old women lol.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chithead View Post
“In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van...

I don't like their air polluting POS van...ergo, they should stop driving it.
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Old 01-15-2010, 01:46 AM
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I have full respect for these guys! I hate it when activists show up on the gas plants and we're all forced to go home (before any of us kill one of them), so I have absolutely ZERO pity for these activists. Leather is primarily made from bull/cow hide and normally it's from the pelts of slaughtered beef stock... so they're using the full animal, not killing some random beast just for the hide. If we weren't supposed to eat meat, then god shouldn't have made it taste so good. Don't get me wrong, I love veggies, but there's nothing better than a medium rare prime rib steak grilled on a hickory smoke charcoal bbq...mmmmmm
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