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  #1  
Old 01-20-2010, 04:18 PM
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Default Funny Analogies

Joe is a coworker of mine and is known for some pretty funny analogies. Here are a few I've heard in the last couple of days.

Love - Love's when ya heart melts and runs out the end of ya peter!

On things that blow up in your face - Ya sh*t in your Easter basket, this time!

A transfer case noise - That thing sounds like two skeletons screwing (not the actual word he used) on a tin roof!
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:28 PM
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Ha! I've been known to describe slippery things as "Slicker than snot on a door knob."
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:50 PM
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I'm well known for, "You're as much use as a Chocolate coffee pot/ fireguard!", depending on how dumb the person is!
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:58 PM
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You are as useful as a wet roll of toilet paper.................
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:24 PM
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My favorite....not so much an analogy, but a stupid label....
I had cottonmouths 2 years ago, and for those smartypants, no, it wasn't from drinking too much the night before! I mean the snakes...I was advised to buy "snake away".
On the jug it read, "Professionally Tested". I just want to know how the snakes replied when the developer asked how they felt after feeling and sensing the poison?! How much were the snakes paid?
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Old 01-21-2010, 01:47 AM
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Some of my favs are: It's hotter than a blistered pu**y in a pecker patch!
It's hotter than a jacked off tom cat on a tin roof!
It's hotter than a fresh f****d fox in a forest fire!
It's hotter than 3 mice f'n in a wool sock!
That's just a few.
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:15 AM
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I'm finer than frogs hair thank you
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:47 AM
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I can play you like a piano......
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Old 01-22-2010, 11:51 PM
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Sweatin' like a ho in church.
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:50 AM
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1. Lost as a whore in church
2. That makes about as much sense as -

a. ticks on a wooden horse
b. termites in a brick s***house
c. tits on a boar hog

Course madder 'n a red hornet usually gets people to back off!

- Cajun
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