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  #11  
Old 01-13-2011, 01:33 AM
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Might even be able to get an annulment after only 8 mos. Priority might be to get enough cash from him to fix her car and get back home where she has family to help her out. CO should be able to help out with short arrangements, but needs a lawyer to get clear of him. Best of luck.
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:24 AM
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Welp, sounds like he is being an ass, but i am sure something set him off. Aside from taking sides or playing the blame game, I can only say get a lawyer as many others have said.

The "she is entitled to half his pay" is garbage, there is no such law. Being they were only married for 8 months, there will be little/no recourse. Both parties will leave the marriage with what they brought in. And yes, an annulment may be an option...but if they have consumated the marriage that might be difficult.
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:34 AM
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Only 8 months ,,, she don't get anything..... the court will say she young enuff to work ,,,Army hit the nail on the head
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Old 01-13-2011, 10:49 PM
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[QUOTE=ArmyofOne;410478]
The "she is entitled to half his pay" is garbage, there is no such law. Being they were only married for 8 months, there will be little/no recourse. Both parties will leave the marriage with what they brought in.QUOTE]

100% true ^^^^^
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:32 PM
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an annulment can be done, as long as there are no children
i was married for 2 years & an annulment was agreed on, she got the '67 mustang fastback 2+2 & most of the dishes, silverware, etc
I got the '56 chevy 1/2 ton & whatever else she didn't want, i kept the 12X60 mobile home, but, i had that before the marriage

by the way, writing a letter to the CO goes a long way to getting problems solved
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  #16  
Old 02-21-2011, 01:57 AM
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I know I'm late on this one, but let me tell you my experience with this whole situation. When I last deployed in 2009, I had been married for all of a month (not a deployment marriage for the skeptics), and my lovely (now ex) wife decided to try to sell my truck, close my bank account, and move in with another man. I went and talked to JAG, who told me that I was required by UCMJ to give her a percentage of my pay every month as spousal support. This all based on my pay grade. At the time, it was almost $800 a month. This went on for about four months, at which time I was able to get hard evidence of her living with another man. I went back to JAG, who said it was an IG decision as to whether or not I could cease spousal support based on her infidelity. A call to IG determined that they had nothing to do with it, and it was a mutual agreement between JAG and my brigade commander as to whether I paid her monthly or not. Suffice to say, being that I was his gunner on his personal security team, he liked me, and that ended my monthly payment.

Now, the situation will dictate what happens. If your cousin is in the wrong, there is really nothing to be done about it. If she hasn't, then her first course of action is to go to her husband's 1SG. Spouses should utilize the chain of command as best they can too, it will get things moving a lot faster if she talks to Top, then she has him in her corner when they bring it up to the CO. Hope this helps out.
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:08 AM
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Just playing devils advocate here, but we're only seeing one side of this. If he worked for me, I'd suggest him helping her get home, but that's about it. 8 months of marriage doesn't entitle her to any part of his pay or any support really. It was crappy how he did the bank accounts, but like others have said, he was a joint owner of the bank account.

The first suggestion my JAG made to me prior to my divorce was to open an account, move money into it and change my direct deposit. That way my arse was covered if she decided to drain the accounts before leaving.

Sucks it happens, but it's likely that his CO or 1st Sergeant will do what's in best interest for him. That's what happened in my case. I paid child support, but nothing more.

If this guy worked at home depot, would everyone suggest going to his manager or direct supervisor to try and make him pay? It often chaps my hide to see folks point people to a military members commander or other to try and make something happen.
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Last edited by BigSwede; 02-21-2011 at 09:10 AM.
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Old 02-21-2011, 05:18 PM
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I understand where you are coming from Swede, and maybe the Air Force does it different, but I know in the Army, we are required to give spousal support in the event of a separation, at least until JAG and the brigade commander find that you don't have to. This is in the regulations (don't ask me to quote the Reg #), and is not negotiable. Now, if she did something WRONG, like run around on her husband, then that is a different story, but the soldier/airman/marine/sailor cannot take it upon his/herself to just STOP supporting their spouse. It has to come from higher up. In our case, if a spouse goes to talk to the 1SG or the CO, they are not going to do what's in the best interest of the soldier. Top is going to get a real case of the ass toward the soldier and is going to assume that the soldier is in the wrong. First, he will bring the soldier in for a little heart to heart, and he will "suggest" that Joe start supporting his wife (and we know that a suggestion is not JUST a suggestion), and if that doesn't work, then Joe will be subject to UCMJ. I would also like to point out that I am ONLY referring to the fact that he is required to support her during the time of the marriage. I agree, 8 months of marriage will NOT get her alimony or any of his retirement. The only reason he is getting BAH/BAS is because of his wife/dependents, so he is required to support her. Not trying to argue Swede, so please don't take it that way. Like you said though, we are only getting one side of the story here. Opening a new account, I agree with totally. As far as the Home Depot thing, that I think is not an accurate comparison, because a Home Depot employee isn't subject to both civilian law AND UCMJ. If there are problems at home, a Depot manager can't force the employee to go stay at a hotel, but a platoon sergeant can force his soldier to move into the barracks for that reason. There are different degrees that the military can do things, not always right, but effective none-the-less.
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  #19  
Old 02-21-2011, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spartan7G09 View Post
I understand where you are coming from Swede, and maybe the Air Force does it different, but I know in the Army, we are required to give spousal support in the event of a separation, at least until JAG and the brigade commander find that you don't have to. This is in the regulations (don't ask me to quote the Reg #), and is not negotiable. Now, if she did something WRONG, like run around on her husband, then that is a different story, but the soldier/airman/marine/sailor cannot take it upon his/herself to just STOP supporting their spouse. It has to come from higher up. In our case, if a spouse goes to talk to the 1SG or the CO, they are not going to do what's in the best interest of the soldier. Top is going to get a real case of the ass toward the soldier and is going to assume that the soldier is in the wrong. First, he will bring the soldier in for a little heart to heart, and he will "suggest" that Joe start supporting his wife (and we know that a suggestion is not JUST a suggestion), and if that doesn't work, then Joe will be subject to UCMJ. I would also like to point out that I am ONLY referring to the fact that he is required to support her during the time of the marriage. I agree, 8 months of marriage will NOT get her alimony or any of his retirement. The only reason he is getting BAH/BAS is because of his wife/dependents, so he is required to support her. Not trying to argue Swede, so please don't take it that way. Like you said though, we are only getting one side of the story here. Opening a new account, I agree with totally. As far as the Home Depot thing, that I think is not an accurate comparison, because a Home Depot employee isn't subject to both civilian law AND UCMJ. If there are problems at home, a Depot manager can't force the employee to go stay at a hotel, but a platoon sergeant can force his soldier to move into the barracks for that reason. There are different degrees that the military can do things, not always right, but effective none-the-less.
I agree with you for the most part. My Home Depot reference is ther because we wouldn't hear about any of this had he not been a military servicemember. If he was Joe Bagodonuts that worked at home depot, noone would even think to go to his boss. People suggesting throwing him under the bus with his CO or TOP is bs without knowing the full situation. If he worked for me, I'd make sure he was protected before I drove over him for a lack of spousal support. In my case, my ex tried to claim spousal abuse and the fact that I wasnt taking care of my son. I was able to show check stubs for support to my son and luckily both my CO and Shirt knew I was never capable of abuse. They basically told her to have a nice day. He was employed, so I owed her nothing. What I did owe was for my sons well being.
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Old 02-21-2011, 06:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigSwede View Post
It often chaps my hide to see folks point people to a military members commander or other to try and make something happen.
First, let me say that i am not in the military or have never been in the military. I also have the utmost respect for all of this country's servicemen. That being said, don't you think that a person who is respected and admired merely because of their enlistment should be held to that higher standard? And also be accountable when they act undeserving of such. If this guy is a jerk in his personal life, chances are he is a jerk in his professional life as well. If i were his "CO", I would want to know how he represented himself and his country both on duty and off.

......just my point of view here. sorry if it offends anyone.
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