as for the exhaust, go with magnaflow if you dont want it too loud. or a flowmaster 50.
You wont hear the intake unless your ON IT.. other then that you cant hear any difference.
programer is up to you, I know a lot of people go with DiabloSport, but theres also super chips and bullydog.
Like most of us with the 4.7 - Its probably gonna feel like your spinning your wheels and wish you would have gone with the 5.7 hemi