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  #1  
Old 11-22-2011, 11:28 PM
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Default REALLY off topic....relationships....

I have a pair(or used to be a pair) of good friends...they used to date, and then were engaged for a short time. I met them when they were dating. About a month or two ago she left him(after 6 years) and they are no longer together, and I was about as good as friends with her as I was him. IMO she has changed a lot for the worse, but I'm really trying to stay friends with both. He has basically IMO not changed, he handled it very well, and after a few days seemed back to himself(I was shocked as when my ex left me I was devastated for at least a month). After talking a lot with him apparently they had many issues and he said he was happier after getting over it. Well anyway basically nothing has changed between me and him, we still hang out and nothing is different. I haven't even spoken to her, she doesn't want to talk to me(or any of her other "old" friends) and she is bad mouthing him. I've texted her (unfortunately that's all I can do) and she claims I'm a bad friend. Any advice from any of you guys on how to straighten her out or save our friendship?
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  #2  
Old 11-22-2011, 11:33 PM
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She's mad at everyone right now...give her some time. Let her know that you will be there when she's ready to talk. Then leave her alone. If she truly is a friend she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, she isn't truly a friend to you.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:35 PM
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^^^ completely!
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:37 PM
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Thanks for the response. Unfortunately I've tried to talk to her as nicely as I can asking how she's doing and all that, and all the few responses I've got are about how bad her life is because of how bad of a person he is. I have responded that I don't want to discuss or get in between them and then I suddenly become a bad friend. I don't think I'm being unreasonable...I think that giving her time is only going to mean her forgetting about me. I was hoping for a way to knock some sense into her.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:39 PM
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Your thinking like a guy....that won't work here.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:41 PM
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HAHA you mean rationally? LOL!
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:52 PM
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There you go....thinking like a guy again.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:58 PM
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smart mouth comment after smart mouth comment after......lol

I've talked to her (via text....I haven't actually spoken to her since they broke up) tonight more than ever in the last month or so. She seems like she's having a pitty party, I've even got to the point I've said I understand blah blah blah, and that I am there fore her but don't want to hear anything bad about him, and it just seems to egg her on more to make her talk worse about him. I'm afraid I'm getting to the point where I don't want to listen anymore . I don't understand what comes over people sometimes..

EDIT: Her texts are getting to the point of attacking my marriage. Sure we have issues but who doesn't.
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Last edited by snrusnak; 11-23-2011 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 11-23-2011, 12:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MADDOG View Post
She's mad at everyone right now...give her some time. Let her know that you will be there when she's ready to talk. Then leave her alone. If she truly is a friend she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, she isn't truly a friend to you.
Couldnt agree more... girls are a different breed and we will never understand them. If it were me id be glad you remained friends with your guy friend instead of her if thats how it ends up. Girls never wanna be at fault with anything and will do whatever it takes to make them look like the better person even if it mean bashing their ex after 6 years. You mentioned issues... do you know anything about these issues? Dont wanna imply anything but if its issues such as loyalty then that would definitely tear a relationship apart. And anybody that calls me a bad person for something i didnt do wouldnt remain friends with me for long...
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Old 11-23-2011, 12:13 AM
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Yeah I know very little of their "issues" but I found out more than I wanted to know on both their sides. What sucks is that I was honestly better friends with her than him before hand, and now she won't talk to me hardly at all and I talk to him everyday(trying to be a good friend). It seems as she has moved on to a new life. I agree women are a different breed(my wife wouldn't agree though lol). I just can't comprehend how someone could do a 180 in their life and leave everyone behind. Her parents even said they haven't talked to her since the day of.
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