Since you have a later 3rd gen (CAN bus) this a relatively straightforward swap. Your stock RFE trans will not handle any 6.4 for long.
Luckily you don't need a standalone controller (though it would be better but vastly more expensive). The 2009 2500 is a 3rd gen platform but has a 4th engine in it. The PCM from a 2009 2500 will integrate into your 2008 architecture but will run a VVT engine (unlike your stock one). This also means all the accessory drive, etc for a 4th gen engine in a 3rd gen platform exist as factory parts:
Just need the PCM and engine harness.
4wd 8HP70's are easily had and will tolerate a 6.4 (just need the trans tuned to handle it). Having 4wd makes life a little easier since you don't need custom driveshafts. Just need a custom trans mount.
You WILL have to figure out where you're going to mount the electronic shifter (this is non-negotiable) as you will be losing your cable column shifter.
The required retrofit harness for a ZF trans is expensive and is also non-negotiable.